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Avian1131

Itsbugbutt
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  1. How long have you been on DeviantArt?

4 years woah 
  1. What does your username mean?

its my first ever fursona mixed with my go to number
  1. Describe yourself in three words.

me!me!me!
  1. Are you left or right handed?

right
  1. What was your first deviation?

crappy picture of avian
  1. What is your favourite type of art to create?

digital? idk uwu
  1. If you could instantly master a different art style, what would it be?

idk ahhhhhh
  1. What was your first favourite?

some animal maker something or other, only reason i made an account at first :D
  1. What type of art do you tend to favourite the most?

digital stuff
  1. Who is your all-time favourite deviant artist?

:iconapplepupart:
  1. If you could meet anyone on DeviantArt in person, who would it be?

lol :iconapplepupart:
  1. How has a fellow deviant impacted your life?

someone was so kind and gave me a 3 month membership when i was having a rough patch with my parents
  1. What are your preferred tools to create art?

lol my bamboo tablet 
  1. What is the most inspirational place for you to create art?

idk
  1. What is your favourite DeviantArt memory?

idk this either ahhh sorry 
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story idea

1 min read
alison is a teenage girl and she lives a rather normal life, she goes to school hands out with her friends after school and comes home at the same time every day. the only thing weird about her life is that every time she goes to sleep she wakes in another world, she thinks its just a dream but its not. When she falls asleep she enters into another body, another realm. She controls this body as if it were her own waking body
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okay first i'm going to say i'm not going against any religion here I have many religious friends and family who I respect very much. Now with that being said some people are just stupid. I found this evolution argument on youtube that basically was 'evolution doesn't exist because it cant be 100% proven and all your doing is putting your faith into a theory' 
1. just because its a theory doesn't mean its not true, technically speaking every religion out there is a theory. We have no idea what is out there and have no evidence as to what is out there (in terms of religion we don't know if there are gods) so we must put our faith in what we think is true.
2. this same person put in the argument that we haven't seen it happen so we cant prove it. but we actually have seen it happen 10 years ago here is a picture of a German shepherd 10 years ago look at its back, its nice and strait its healthy. now here is a picture in the last few years few years ago this happened after years and years of pure breeding the dogs. do you sere the second ones back? it is curved down, that is a form of evolution. and this is just a simple example.
3. this person uses the argument that if we evolved from apes why are there still apes around? and excuse my language here but its pure bullshit that argument is. we never evolved from today's apes, we evolved from common ancestors and somewhere along that line we split off to fit the needs of the groups. 

now i'm really pissed off so i'm going to draw before I yell at someone, and please if you read all the way through don't come to me whining about how i'm wrong i'm just not gonna listen. I gave my evidence for what I believe and unless you give me enough evidence god exists i'm not going to believe it.
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update on life

7 min read
hey my friends. I'm not doing good. I just want to get everything out. Iv'e been holding it in for too long. I want to be able to cry and to have someone hug me but I can't... That's who I am to my friends I am there for anyone who needs to talk friend or not. So I cant do that to them... not now, not ever. So iv'e kept it in. Iv'e stopped trusting because of it all and I do want to trust someone but I just can't anymore.

People always say that the author tells more about themselves in their stories than they would mean to. So what does that say about me? In every story Iv'e ever made the main character gets abused beaten or stepped on. They get ignored. They get betrayed. Hurt.

When I was 6 I met someone awesome and we became best friends. We went everywhere together. Went over to each others houses almost every weekend. By 3rd grade he ditched me. He decided that I wasn't good enough for him so he left. Being 7 that hurt so much, I didn't understand why. Why did he leave me? What did I do wrong? That year we moved to where I am now. A nice town with plenty of people around. I left one bully behind, who made fun of me because I didn't have a specific toy. I left one behind... and 7 more started in at the new school. I was teased so much I started acting different. I started to pretend I was an animal because I would rather be a wild animal that had nothing than be a human being. Than be a part of such a terrible species. This continued till 6th grade and for the most part of the year I was left alone. making and loosing friends. I lost 4 of the only friends I had with only 2 left. at the end of the year 4 of those 7 started in again. Seventh grade 7 were added to those 4. Those new 7 made fun of my only escape - Art. They said my art sucked. That I sucked because of how bad I did at EVERYTHING. I sent a letter to my principal saying EXACTLY "I have been bullied for years and it has gotten to the point were the only thing I want to do is die. I don't want to be here anymore, their words hurt. Please stop them." I remember every word I wrote. They called me in the next day and I told them everything they were doing to me. Saying I was a terrible person and that my art sucked. And they listened and asked questions, asked who they were. Most of them stopped but one continued making fun of my art, my only escape. I told a teacher and she got him in trouble. I heard him yelling at her "Its only a word, it can't hurt anyone" If he only knew what it did to me... The guidance counselor called my parents and told them. My parents and I have never had a good relationship, they call me selfish but every day I do the most selfless thing possible... not tell them my conditions. Well that day they found out. They came to my school and my mother was crying, my father was angry. They brought me out of school and we went to get lunch at a town house of pizza. We didn't talk about it. When we got in the car my father looked back at me and said, "Did you ever think of us? how do you think we feel knowing our daughter is so messed up that she wants to die." Exactly that. 
on to 8th grade. The year was okay I got plenty of new friends and had a couple from 7th grade. But at the end of that year on May 15th 2013 my friend Chris attempted suicide by hanging himself out his bedroom window. He survived. I can still see it in my mind to this day... You see I have worsening OCD, the part nobody really knows about is that the ones with bad OCD see blood gore, really bad things and it repeats over and over and over and there's nothing we can do to control it. I see his limp body hanging out his window every second of every day. This threw me into depression that year. only my friends noticed not my family. I started cutting every day. 
last year. Last year was okay, except for the fact my parents were the same as always. Just complete assholes and I grew depressed again. Over the summer my father would sometimes leave drinks in the fridge and he never leaves anything in there unless it is for me. So I took them. He yelled at me and sometimes threw stuff at me. and getting more pissed off when I would run to my room and start crying. But every time I left the drinks in there he would make fun of me, "Oh its a miracle she left the drink alone!" and when I would walk away he would start yelling at me for going to my room.
Now its like a game for him to come talk to me about doing stuff every week and say "Just let me be selfish for once," He is selfish every damn day, all he thinks about is doing stuff for himself or others for his benefit. He only holds doors if he thinks it'll help him in the long run. 
the second day of school I went to an eye-doctor like every year, to get new glasses and a checkup on how my eyes are. This year the doctor told me I have a problem with my eyes. This problem is that one day I am going to wake up and my vision will start rapidly declining to the point when I will be blind. I don't know when this will happen, I only know that it will. Its tough to wake up every day and know that you will loose something that is the only thing separating you from another bout of depression.
two days ago I went to the doctor and found out that I may have a genetic problem causing me to be more like a guy, wider set shoulders and so on. But the only thing they can do is hold it in place, its too late to do anything about how I talk think or act. 

I haven't told my friends half of that and Iv'e left lots of the problems out that are REALLY bad. If any of you have read this thank you, I just hope you understand that I don't want to be looked at with pity so don't even.

and If only they knew what they did. they flared up an anxiety that I had previous but they made it about 100x worse. I will live with this anxiety for every day of my life. and only when I am 18 will I be able to be diagnosed because my parents don't believe any of it one bit.
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DA birthday

1 min read
it seems like just yesterday DA turned 13 i remember a year ago waking up and finding out it was the first time i had been part of an anniversary and whats so crazy is i hadn't even realized time had passed this fast
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Featured

DeviantArtist Questionnaire by Avian1131, journal

story idea by Avian1131, journal

stupid people... by Avian1131, journal

update on life by Avian1131, journal

DA birthday by Avian1131, journal